


Of love and death

by shadow_prince



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Because Marauder canon is awful and dark and I stuck to it, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, F/M, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Implied Relationships, Kind of dark, M/M, MWPP, MWPP Era, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Minus the soulmate thing, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, There's no fluff what have I done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 20:14:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13982517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadow_prince/pseuds/shadow_prince
Summary: On your 16th birthday, two names appear somewhere on your skin. The name of your soulmate, and the name of the person who will cause your death, with no indication which is which. On each of their birthdays Sirius, Remus, and James work through receiving their Marks.





	Of love and death

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off the prompt: "You are born with two names tattooed on your body somewhere, one of your soulmate and one of the person that will eventually kill you. There is no way to tell who is who."
> 
> At first I was thinking about this really deeply. Then I burst out laughing at James Potter's cause you know Sirius would give him shit that Lily could be his killer. And then it turned out to be rather dark, because I kept it canon and the Marauder's canon is awful. But, here we are. As a note, I tagged it wolfstar, cause it's implied that it is requited, but they don't get together in this, so if that's what you're looking for go read my other wolfstar fic. 
> 
> Just a short little thing because I haven't been writing and needed something to get me moving again. Hope you like it.
> 
> Disclaimer that these characters are not my own and the scene of Sirius' death is referenced from a different pov from which it was written by J.K. Rowling, but is totally hers.

A heavy fog clung to the grounds of Hogwarts as young witches and wizards drug their feet to classes on a Monday morning in early November. For as excitable and dramatic as he normally was, Sirius was remarkably calm on the morning of his 16th birthday. He smiled and joked as the others gave him presents at the table over breakfast, and merely rolled his eyes at the ring imprinted with the Black family crest that was delivered by his father's owl, dropping it in his trouser pocket without even bothering to trying it on. James kept bringing up his remarkable composure, poking fun at 'had their excitable puppy finally matured into a dog,' until Remus jabbed him in the ribs with his wand between classes with a meaningful look. Sirius pretended not to notice.

As the day progressed, he became quieter and quieter, hardly doing more than pushing food around on his plate at dinner. When the four Marauders climbed through the portrait hole that evening, he stopped the others with a raised hand.

"Would you lot mind waiting in the common room for a bit? Because, well... you know," his voice trailed off nervously. Fingers fidgeted with the hem of his robes in a very un-Sirius-like fashion.

James dropped a comforting hand on his shoulder, shaking him a bit before pulling him closer by the back of the neck. "You know we will. This is your private thing, mate, just let us know if you need us."

With a grateful smile, Sirius hugged the other boy tightly, before turning and making his way up the stairs like a soldier heading to war.

Sitting himself on the edge of his bed, he wasn't sure what to do. There wasn't much information on how the magic related to the Markings worked, only that they appeared on your 16th birthday. The name of your soulmate, and the person who would kill you, and no indication to differentiate which was which. There was no guarantee that you were your soulmate's match either, or that the person who killed you did so intentionally. It could be the name of a relative where a genetic disease began. Or a doctor who failed to find a cure. Some people even had a foreign curling script, associated with one magical beast or another.

He clasped his shaking hands before him, leg bouncing nervously as he considered his options. He didn't get very far though, as it suddenly felt as though dozens of hot needles were pricking the inside of his right wrist.

He leapt to his feet, shoving the sleeve up and staring in wonder as black ink swirled across the pale flesh there, as if floating in water, before finally settling into two names. A choked laugh burst from his lips before he could catch himself, and soon he found himself near hysterical. Tears ran down his cheeks and he dropped his head back, staring at the ceiling as his laughter tapered off.

For most, it was not immediately obvious which name was which. People spent years, or sometimes even their whole lives, avoiding both people, out of fear of growing too close to the one who would cause their death. Sirius, however, found himself with both the blessing and the curse of knowing immediately which name fell into which category.

Even he wasn't self-centred enough to believe himself his own soulmate.

Which left the other name by default.

Looking back down at the inside of his wrist, Sirius lifted a shaking finger to trace the Mark. The two names formed a circle, one chasing after the other in an eternal dance, bound to him forever.

He doesn't know how long he stands there, before finally pulling himself together enough to rejoin the others. Taking a shaking breath, he changes clothes and pulls down his sleeves, before leaving the dorm.

It was more than an hour later that Sirius walked down the stairs and into the common room, his head held high. He had shed his robes in favour of a worn muggle sweatshirt with a Led Zeppelin logo and torn jeans, and to anyone else he must have appeared the picture of normal Sirius Black. Remus and James traded a quick glance though, knowing better by the clench in his jaw and steeliness in his eyes.

They asked no questions and Remus scooted over in the large arm chair he occupied across from Peter. Sirius hesitated for a moment, tugging at his sleeves to be sure they were pulled down low, before squeezing himself in between Remus and the arm. The two boys thighs pressed together in the chair not meant for two people, but that wasn't any different than usual, and Sirius slowly began to relax. He rested his chin on Remus' shoulder, watching the game of wizarding chess. Peter opened his mouth, as if to ask a question, but snapped it shut at a shake of James' head.

Sirius turned his head, burying his face and nose in tawny curls that smelt of the forest at night despite it being a new moon. Eventually he dozed off, lulled to sleep by the safe presence of the soulmate he would never be able to admit to. And if he bought a wide, black leather cuff that weekend at Hogsmead, no one mentioned it.

He did his best to push the tattoo to the back of his mind, and his friends for the most part dropped it, having the good sense to realise he had no interest in discussing the names stamped on his skin. It wasn't until Christmas holidays, sitting in the dark cellar his mother had locked him in, that he considered the implication of having his own name there. As the utter darkness swallowed him from all sides, the possibilities of what the future would hold, leading to that inevitability, he felt the weight of his own death heavy on his shoulders.

+++

On the morning of his 16th birthday, Remus awoke earlier than normal. Much earlier than normal. The faintest tinge of pink stretched like fingers from the skyline, hinting at the sunrise that was still a ways off. Quietly throwing back his covers, the boy padded across the room to his trunk, tugging on his clothes for the day, before slipping from the room without waking the others.

He absently meandered his way to the library, settling into a corner of the worn sofa in the back with a book open on his lap. His fingers traced across the page, feeling the old parchment beneath them, but found himself unable to focus enough to read the words. When the tingling started, he considered not looking at all. The pain was a faint echo across his hipbones, and would be easy enough to avoid. Thanks to his furry little problem, Remus had long ago come to terms with the two facts relating to his Marks that rendered them irrelevant.

1\. His soulmark would be unrequited

2\. His death would be early and inevitable.

What did it matter who revealed him or who delivered the final blow; his lycanthropy would catch up to him sooner or later (more likely sooner) and there would be no soulmate there to mourn his death.

Ultimately though, it was his unending thirst for knowledge that did him in. His inability to not know something that was right at his fingertips. With a sigh, and a quick glance to be sure he was still alone, he pulled up his jumper to examine the two names, dipping just below his pants.

Antonin Dolohov and Sirius Black, both scrawled in hurried letters. Even his Marks knew their own insignificance; what did it matter if they were neat and legible. He chuckled darkly.

Remus knew there was no way to tell which name was which and that it was all in his head, but saying the foreign name tasted horrid in his mouth. It felt wrong and... dark, in a way that made no logical sense whatsoever.

His lips curled up at the edges, eyes crinkling, as he instead tasted Sirius' name in his mouth.

_Sirius_

_Sirius_

_Sirius_

He should be afraid. Afraid that Sirius could be the one to kill him. Or to betray him. Or the cause of something that would lead to his death - or, more likely, execution - but he wasn't. Not in the least. There was no way to know for sure, but Remus _was_ sure. He had pushed his feeling for Sirius away, always away, burying them deeper and deeper until they were no longer a part of his daily thoughts, but absolutely a part of his being.

He allowed his finger to trace that name just once, before righting his clothes, and silently thanking Merlin that they were at least somewhere easy to hide.

+++

James burst into the room, startling Sirius and Remus into silence in the middle of an argument over an answer to their potions assignment. His glasses were askew and hair even more wild than normal, which hardly seemed possible, and yet, there it was in front of them. His mouth hung open, apparently speechless, although occasionally emitting choked noises.

Sirius frowned, "have you been poisoned mate?"

James rushed over, tugging his shirt up to reveal two names scrawled across his ribs, just beneath his left armpit. It was the first time Remus had seen someones Marks other than his own, and he craned his head curiously to get a better look. Sirius was silent a moment, before bursting out laughing.

"This isn't funny! Why are you laughing!"

The long haired boy lay flat on his back across his bed, wiping away tears that leaked from his eyes.

"That's a tough one mate. I have no idea which is your soulmate and which is your killer. I mean, on one hand Voldemort is obviously a dangerous dark wizard, but on the other, I wouldn't put money on him getting to you before Lily takes you out herself. That could happen tomorrow when you try out some idiotic new pick-up line." He pushed himself to his elbows, smiling at a clearly panicked Prongs, "do you find yourself drawn toward men with an edgy side by chance? You know, dark brooding types."

Remus cocked his head to the side, "he has Voldemort's name, not yours, Pads."

"Oi!"

The joke seemed to break James from the anxious state he was trapped in, letting his shirt fall back in place. He smiled crookedly before dropping down next to Sirius and pulling him into a headlock.

"So, Remus, have you seen Lily's by chance?"

+++

Remus held his breath as he beheld the scene of Sirius and Bellatrix's dual, choking as the stun hit Sirius in the chest.

_No._

_I can't lose him again._

He rushed forward to join, but realised a second too late, that it was already over.

Sirius stumbled backwards a step too far. Recognition of his own mistake washed across his face. Grey eyes met gold across the expansive space, his left hand falling over his right wrist. Sirius tried to convey everything with that simple gesture, and it crashed on Remus like a hurricane making landfall.

He wrapped an arm around Harry's chest, as much to protect the boy as to prevent himself from throwing himself through the veil after Sirius. After his soulmate.

He choked on the words, forcing them out of his mouth, "-it's too late, Harry."


End file.
